Adjustable Magic Read online

  *********

  “Wow,” she says.

  “Totally,” he says.

  “Intense,” she says.

  “Amazing,” he says.

  “Okay, this is definitely not a dream because there is absolutely no way I could’ve slept through that. Although I do understand now why you men want to roll over and fall asleep afterward.”

  “Well, sometimes. Are you…?”

  “Nope. I don’t wanna miss any part of this. Another thing I’m not gonna do is ask if it was good for you too. Trust me, I already know the answer.”

  “I could’ve been faking it.”

  “No, you couldn’t.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

  “Aren’t you glad that I suggested this?”

  “You are a very, very wise woman. Amongst many other things.”

  “Oh, well, please don’t feel you need to keep those things all to yourself.”

  “No, actually I think there’s quite a lot about you I’d like to keep all to myself.”

  Leila snuggles in closer and kisses his cheek. “Okay,” she whispers.

  After a few minutes of reflective afterglow, Ryan speaks. “You know, there were a couple’a moments there, in the heat of things, when it seemed like I was back in my own body. Sort of.”

  Leila pops up onto her elbow. “Really? Me too. But more like I was in both bodies at the same time.”

  Ryan nods slowly. “Yeah, maybe that’s what it was. Weird feeling. I mean, it was already weird, but this was even weirder.”

  “But good weird.”

  “No doubt. Very good.”

  “So maybe this whatever it is, this switch, is starting to wear off. Or maybe the sex triggered it. Like, we’ve truly fulfilled our wishes now.”

  “Maybe when we wake up tomorrow we’ll be back to normal.”

  “Or maybe we’ll need to do this a few more times.”

  “Yeah, either way would be good.” Ryan pauses and then adds, “But I do still think we should take that drive tonight. I know it’s probably a long shot, but…”

  “Everything is probably a long shot. It was a long shot we ever got this way in the first place. Right? Who knows what will get us back. Or if anything will.”

  “No,” Ryan declares firmly. “I can’t go there. This is pretty wild and, as you said, a unique experience and all, and it might even be fun for another day or two. Maybe. But there has to be an end. We can’t go on like this.”

  “We can if we have to. You either deal with it or you give up. And I’m not about to give up. I’ve had thirty-two good years as a woman, but if Buddha and the Goddess want me to spend some time, or even the rest of my life, living as a man, then so be it.”

  Ryan makes a mental post-it to inquire about the Buddha/Goddess pairing at some later time. “I like your attitude. I do. But honestly, I don’t see how we could last a week before things started coming apart at the seams.”

  “It doesn’t have to be like that. I have a plan,” Leila announces.

  “Does this plan involve skipping the country or any surgical procedures?”

  “No. I’m serious, Ryan. I’ve been thinking about this and I’m telling you, we can get through this. At least for a while. But we have to do it together. The only way to make this work… we have to stick together and work together, closely.”

  “Okay,” Ryan says. “So far, I like this plan. What else?”

  Leila begins by pointing out the areas where fortune has been kind to them. They are both left-handed. Both are reasonably fit and healthy. Both are self-employed, able to do the crux of their work in private, set their own hours, and “hire” someone else (namely, the new visual and vocal persona of themselves) to handle matters of public interface. Neither has family in the area. Leila is a newcomer, relocating from Seattle less than four months ago to take control of her recently deceased father’s investment properties, and therefore still a relative stranger with no close ties.

  Ryan contributes a few personal facts Leila didn’t know. His best friend took an out of state job transfer, leaving six months ago, and his next best friend (who slipped down to the runner-up slot after getting married two years ago) has now seen his buddy time even more crippled by the recent arrival of twins. Essentially Ryan is now also a bit shy of close local relationships.

  The key element of Leila’s plan calls for Ryan to, more or less, move into Leila’s house. Soon. Tomorrow or the day after. Only if necessary, of course, and only temporarily, in theory. Leila’s house (also recently inherited), is considerably larger than Ryan’s apartment, and thus seems the logical choice for cohabitation, granting them much greater privacy from neighbors and ample room for each to establish separate work and sleeping quarters while still being accessible to the other for the necessities of daily life maintenance, whether that be physical idiosyncrasy advice (do not put bell peppers in that stomach), grooming issues (Leila is terrified by the thought of shaving her face; Ryan’s not much better with armpits and legs), or phone conversations their new ‘personal assistant’ simply can’t handle.

  Speaking of which…

  “My mother will be calling soon. You have to answer.”

  “Let it ring,” Ryan says quickly. “I’m not ready to talk to your mother yet.”

  “No. I talk to my mother almost every day, Ryan, and we’re better off doing this now because I have the perfect thing you can say that will not only cut the call short but buy us some time. And you can be ready in about thirty seconds.”

  “Okay, then. Let’s get ready for mommy.”

  “Yeah, that’s wrong. First thing, call her mama. Not mom, or mother, or mommy dearest. Okay? So, after the initial hello howareyas, her next words will be to ask how my date went last night. Trust me. You say- ‘it’s going really good’. Got that? Present tense. She’ll understand, probably pretend shock or make some risqué comment, and then offer to end the call. You say- ‘I’ll call you Monday’, add a ‘love ya’ or ‘bye mama’ and hang up. That’s it. Quick and easy. She won’t call back, and since I know she and her husband have a big day tomorrow, no more contact for 48 hours.”

  “All right, I’m cool with that,” Ryan says. “But I can already see where this could be a problem. You two are obviously close. And you can’t script every phone conversation.”

  “You’re right. And here’s the thing. If we’re not back to normal in a few days, I will have to tell my mother. Well, you’ll have to start it but then I’ll take over. She is the one person that I know I can convince and who will believe and who I absolutely trust not to tell another soul. However, she probably will insist on flying down here, not only to see it for herself, but also because she’s definitely gonna want to meet you.”

  “Hard to blame her for that. I am the man wearing her daughter’s body.”

  “Her only daughter.”

  “I suspect it would be much the same even if you were one of a half dozen.”

  “Probably. Is there anyone you think you should, or can, tell?”

  Ryan considers the idea briefly. “Nah. Don’t think so.”

  “After my mother calls, I think we should take a shower.”

  “We, as in together?”

  “Yes. I need to show you how to wash my hair. Properly. Plus, it might be fun.”

  “I can see where it might.”

  “And don’t let me forget. I have a pill you need to take.”

  “A pill? Oh, god, no. Please, let’s definitely not forget to take that pill.”